PROLOGUE
(It is the court scene from The Merchant of Venice. In the background is the Hotel Shakespeare, where Scene One occurs. The DUKE is addressing SHYLOCK, while ANTONIO and BASSANIO stand witness. They are in tableau. JACOB wanders in, reading a copy of The Merchant of Venice. He takes a seat at his desk, half reading aloud the lines preceding the scene. The tableau comes to life. SHYLOCK has bright, unkempt red hair and a beard, and he displays a grossly elongated nose. He wears a greasy caftan with a yellow prayer shawl slung round. His foot stamps with rage, he gestures claw-like with his hands, and his voice alternates between bawling and muttering. His movements are like those of a caged animal. He is filled with a horrifying, vindictive glee. Overall, he is the most unpleasant possible stereotype of a Jew, pushed to absurd extremes.)
DUKE
We all expect a gentle answer, Jew.
SHYLOCK
I have possess'd your grace of what I purpose,
And by our holy Sabbath I have sworn
To have the due and forfeit of my bond,
If you deny it, let the danger light
Upon your charter and your city's freedom!
You'll ask me why I rather choose to have
A weight of carrion flesh, than to receive
Three thousand ducats: I'll not answer that!
But to say it is my humor—is it answer'd?
(SHYLOCK cackles.)
What if my house be troubled with a rat,
And I be pleas'd to give ten thousand ducats
To have it ban'd? What, are you answer'd yet?
Some men there are that love not a gaping pig!
Some that are mad when they behold a cat!
And others when the bagpipe sings i'th'nose,
Cannot contain their urine—for affection,
Master of passion, sways it to the mood
Of what it likes or loathes,—now for your answer:
As there is no firm reason to be rend'red
Why he cannot abide a gaping pig,
Why he a harmless necessary cat,
Why he a wauling bagpipe, but of force
Must yield to such inevitable shame,
As to offend himself being offended:
So can I give no reason, nor I will not,
More than a lodg'd hate, and a certain loathing
I bear Antonio, that I follow thus
A losing suit against him!—are you answered?
(They freeze. SHYLOCK cackles and waves his fingers. JACOB appears, summoned by SHYLOCK's spell. Blackout.)
SCENE 1
(A hotel lobby. A sign says "Hotel Shakespeare--Venice". JACOB is talking to the CLERK.)
JACOB
Buon giorno. Sa dirmi dove Shylock?
CLERK
Scusi, non parlo italiano. Only ingeles.
JACOB
I'm sorry, I thought that—never mind. I'm looking for Shylock. Is he registered here?
CLERK
Is Shylock his family name or his Christian name?
JACOB
I don't know--I think it's his only name.
CLERK
I see.
(She checks.)
No, I don't see anyone registered under that name. Isn't he a Jew?
JACOB
Yes, I believe so.
CLERK
That explains it. We don't allow Jews in this establishment. 'You'll have to look somewhere else.
JACOB
Oh, I see. Well, can I check in, first? I believe I have a reservation. The name is Jacob Levy.
(The CLERK checks.)
CLERK
Oh, yes, Dr. Levy. One moment, our bellboy will help you with your bags.
(The CLERK rings bell. LAUNCELOT enters.)
Launcelot, please take care of Dr. Levy.
(CLERK exits.)
JACOB
Launcelot? I don't suppose your full name is Launcelot Gobbo?
LAUNCELOT
That's right. You've heard of me, then? Well, don't believe it. It's all an invention, they're just trying to retract from my character.
(Pause.)
What have you heard?
JACOB
That you were once the servant to Shylock.
LAUNCELOT
Nothing about the way I tricked Lorenzo out of fifty ducats and three bottles of his best wine?
JACOB
Is it true?
LAUNCELOT
Well, I don't admit to anything, but Lorenzo--
JACOB
I meant about Shylock.
LAUNCELOT
Oh, that.
(LAUNCELOT looks around, furtively.)
It's best not to speak of that.
JACOB
But I'm sure that-‑
LAUNCELOT
Please don't mention it anymore.
JACOB
You are the same Launcelot Gobbo who later became servant to Bassanio?
LAUNCELOT
Please. You never know who's listening.
(GUARD enters, escorting a JEW. The GUARD spits in the direction of JACOB and LAUNCELOT. The JEW is played by the same actor and dressed in the same way as SHYLOCK was in the prologue. He also wears an armband with a yellow Jewish star. The JEW growls and struggles with the GUARD.)
JACOB
Is that—?
LAUNCELOT
Be quiet.
(In a loud voice.)
It's the Jews who are the rumination of Venice, I tell you. Oh, hello sir. I don't suppose you could spare—
(The GUARD throws him a few coins. The JEW leaps for them and the GUARD has to cuff him back. He and the JEW exit while LAUNCELOT picks up the coins.)
Thank you, sir, thank you.
(to JACOB)
They're always suckers for that.
JACOB
Was that Shylock?
LAUNCELOT
The Jew? No. But he does have the same look of the devil about him, I must admit.
JACOB
Then you did know Shylock.
LAUNCELOT
We had better get your bags upstairs, Dr. Levy.
JACOB
I'll double your tip if you answer me truthfully.
LAUNCELOT
You'll make a Jew of me yet.
JACOB
It looked like you were halfway there, a minute ago, when you were scrambling after those coins.
LAUNCELOT
Well, I couldn't refuse his Christian charity.
JACOB
(handing him money)
Tell me about Shylock.
LAUNCELOT
Well, 1'11 tell you, sir, these Jews may all be devils, but Shylock was the very picture of Lucifer himself, a close relative of the man from Malta who poisoned wells at night. "I have plucked my hair from the inferno's fires," he told me once, "and I have stolen my eyes from its dying ambers." It was true, for his breath smelled of rhinestone, and he would scorch my eyebrows when he muttered the incantations that kept me in his power. And for all his money, it was more than he could afford to keep me in the most tattered of rags and feed me the leanest of meats. Half of his rooms were full, from floor to ceiling, with his ill-gotten wealth, and, though you may have heard, sir, that he only asked for flesh from that merchant Antonio, I tell you that one night he whispered to me that "all my gold is nothing else but transformed Christian blood and bone". It is well that his kind are being separated from polite society nowadays, because he had a most fell influence on me, turning me into a liar and a thief. And though I admit I was once devoted to his daughter, now that I think of it, it may well be that she had too much of his accursed blood, as well. It was she who tempted me into some of my worst offenses.
JACOB
Such as?
LAUNCELOT
I helped mix the blood of Jew and Christian.
(The GUARD walks by again, this time with a JEWESS, who is wearing the same red wig, long nose and yellow armband that the last Jew wore. The GUARD spits towards LAUNCELOT and JACOB. The JEWESS bites at the GUARD, who pushes her to the ground. JACOB rushes to help her up.)
GUARD
Don't touch her.
JACOB
I was just trying to—
GUARD
Don't touch her.
(The GUARD pushes JACOB away, grabs the JEWESS and pulls her up.)
LAUNCELOT
Damn Jews. They ought to all be clustered away.
(The GUARD ignores him. He and the JEWESS exit.)
Are you crazy? You could have had us both killed.
JACOB
How could you have just stood there?
LAUNCELOT
She was just a Jew. What are you so concerned about?
JACOB
You could have helped her.
LAUNCELOT
Like you did?
(Pause.)
JACOB
Listen, I need to find Shylock. Where does he live? Can you lead me to him?
LAUNCELOT
Not me. I wouldn't be caught dead. You apparently have no such worries. Listen, if you really want a guide, I'm not the one to ask. This is the only quarter of the city I've ever lived in. You need someone who knows something about the city as a whole.
JACOB
I take it you know someone of that sort.
LAUNCELOT
I do.
JACOB
I wouldn't have thought that Virgil would associate with you.
LAUNCELOT
No, I don't think there are any Virgils left in our city. I'm speaking of Hamlet.
JACOB
The Dane?
LAUNCELOT
The Dame
(HAMLET enters, Yorick skull in hand. She is a woman. Otherwise, she wears clothes that would be typical for Hamlet, although it seems that the clothes don't quite fit the contours of her body.)
JACOB
Good day, sweet prince-ess. Excuse me, I was under the impression that you were a man.
HAMLET
So was I. Apparently, I am merely a woman forced by an oppressive society into thinking she's as a man.
LAUNCELOT
Imagine her surprise when she was changing costumes.
JACOB
What are you doing in Venice?
HAMLET
I've been placed in Paris, Bejing, New Dehli, ancient Rome and a futuristic Manhattan, just to name a few places. Being a woman in Venice is merely my latest incarnation.
JACOB
Can you help me find Shylock?
HAMLET
As I was just explaining, it's all a matter of interpretation.
LAUNCELOT
Of course she can. As you can hear, they've had similar histories. Except for the Jew thing, of course.
HAMLET
What is it that interests you so much about that old Shylock?
JACOB
I received a letter.
(JACOB takes out letter and shows it to HAMLET.)
LAUNCELOT
What does it say?
HAMLET
Words, words, words.
(She offers it to LAUNCELOT.)
LAUNCELOT
No thank you, I can't read, either.
JACOB
I got it a few months ago. It says that Shylock is dying, and that he wishes to leave me some sort of inheritance.
LAUNCELOT
I thought that was only the sort of letter you got after someone dies.
JACOB
So did I. Apparently, there's some sort of legal catch, though...
LAUNCELOT
I thought his daughter was supposed to inherit everything after he dies.
JACOB
Yes, that's it. It seems they've had a falling out.
LAUNCELOT
I would say so, yes.
JACOB
Had you heard he was dying?
HAMLET
With that tribe, I've started to assume it.
JACOB
Anyway, I thought I might try to find out a little about him, before I met him, I mean. I feel a little awkward about it. He is a relative, after all.
LAUNCELOT
A relative?
JACOB
Yes, of course. Why else would I inherit anything from him?
LAUNCELOT
I thought you were related to Antonio or something. I hadn't realized—
(The GUARD enters, heading towards JACOB and LAUNCELOT.)
My advice is, don't struggle.
(The GUARD grabs LAUNCELOT and starts to drag him offstage.)
What are you doing? I'm no Jew.
GUARD
You fucking gypsies are just as bad.
(They exit.)
JACOB
What happened?
HAMLET
He fell victim to dramatic irony. Trust me. I recognize the symptoms. We ought to leave. Once one goes, the rest start falling pretty quickly.
JACOB
Do you know where Shylock lives?
HAMLET
I know where his daughter lives. I think she may be able to help you out.
JACOB
What should I do with my bags?
HAMLET
Leave them. This will be easier if you're not carting them about.
JACOB
Sure. Why not? I didn't have anything valuable inside, anyway.
(They exit.)